17 weeks

How far along? Seventeen weeks (missed last week’s update while visiting family).

Vital stats? Despite eating a ridiculous amount of food (especially cookies) over the holidays, and despite what the scale originally said when I first got back home, in the end, once everything returned to normal, I gained 1.5 lb over two weeks, putting me up 10.5 lb total at this point. I am officially ceasing to stress about my weight as things have really settled down in the last month. I also made a change to my synthroid medication (up to 0.137 daily) this week after seeing my endocrinologist. I’m glad I’m being monitored so closely by him (and even happier that he totally missed my ridiculous weight gain (still bloated from Christmas and it looked like I had gained 12 lb in the eight weeks since I had last been there) when I saw him on Monday because he loves to lecture his patients about weight.) Some websites say the baby is the size of a turnip. Others suggest a pear. These two foods are not remotely the same size, and a pear is smaller than the naval orange suggested for fifteen weeks. I give up with the food.

How am I looking? Still pregnant, but less pregnant than over the holidays (much of that was bloat and digestive slowdown rather than baby). I saw a friend up at work (work! I am employed!) on Wednesday and she said she felt I could still get away with just looking like I had too much pizza and beer over Christmas. I am still trying to hide it at work because I haven’t yet been able to meet with my union rep to talk about maternity leave options, and I don’t want to tell the chair of my department until I’ll be able to explain to him exactly what my options are so we can have a good discussion about what makes the most sense for the department, and for me, both in terms of when the baby comes and my future opportunities. I’ve been wearing my winter coat, unzipped, around the office a lot, or keeping my scarf on.

I think I have to buy new bras. I have gone up to the ones I wore while pregnant with E., which two weeks ago I thought looked huge, but I think the fact that I started this pregnancy weighing five pounds more, and the fact that I had been running before getting pregnant with E., means that I need a different band size. They’re just not comfortable.

How am I feeling physically? Pretty good! I am really loving teaching again and I can tell I’m doing heaps more walking on the  days where I teach (walking to transit, walking to office, walking to class, walking in classroom).

I am also enjoying the novel experience of feeling really really hungry without also feeling really really full, which is pretty much how I felt the entire time I was away.

How am I feeling emotionally? I am SO OVER having Q. and E. away. I enjoyed going home (but not home) for the holidays, but coming back to the empty house (except for the cats) was a drag. The wedding was today (Australian time) and Q. and E. fly on Monday, so it is not too much longer until I will see them.

I was definitely ready to come back home (real home). Both sets of parents are in fairly dysfunctional relationship dynamics at the moment. One set’s issues are hopefully temporary (largely caused by knock-on effects from health problems that can hopefully be resolved at some point this year). The other set’s problems are well established, but my sisters and I decided that their general pattern of contempt and negativity has been masked of late because we now usually see them with E. in tow and they clearly put on their best behaviour when he’s around. I think we all came out of that visit a little shell shocked, and I can say that they better stay on their best behaviour when E.’s around because there is no way in hell I’m taking him to visit that house if that’s what they’re going to model for him. It did make me extra appreciative of a) the close relationship I have with my sisters and b) the great marriage I have with Q.

I’m getting a little bit twitchy about the anatomy scan at the end of January but am ok generally. I was much more nervous this week about starting teaching again (for the first time since April 2014, and I haven’t taught three classes at once since the 2007-08 academic year before I started the PhD). I had all my usual anxiety moments- worried I would get the time wrong, or the classroom wrong, or the technology wouldn’t work, or I wouldn’t have enough material, etc. etc. I was also worried about the mad-dash taxi ride I have to take on Monday evenings at rush hour to get from one campus to the other in time for my next class, but we had a smooth trip last Monday and hopefully I can keep using that cabbie, because he was great. Once I actually taught I felt better, and by yesterday, once I had taught all three classes (which are very different- one lecture, one seminar, one language class), I felt like I was right back into the swing of things.

Movement?  Definitely. It’s not every day, but most days I get some reminder of the little alien inside, usually in the evenings when I stop rushing around and park myself on the couch with my feet up on a cushion and my laptop and a cat on my lap. Still more nudges and pokes than kicks, but I would say they’re getting stronger.

How does it compare with E.’s pregnancy? At seventeen weeks last time around I had this to say about maternity clothes:

Still nope, and I can still pull off both my pairs of jeans without undoing them, so I don’t think I’ll be needing new jeans for a while yet. My black pants are becoming problematic though- on Monday they fit really well until lunch, and then I had to keep them undone for the rest of the day.

Ha ha ha! I think that mostly tells you that I was wearing jeans that were way too big before I got pregnant. I cannot imagine wearing non-maternity pants right now.

Also this:

The funniest thing is how much the size of my belly fluctuates depending on the time of day- it is enormous by the late evening once I’ve eaten dinner and chugged back the rest of my three litres of fluid.

Very true. The belly grows over the course of the day.

And this:

Were it not for the fact that I get out of breath doing things that normally I would take in my stride, I don’t think I would even notice that I’m pregnant!

Also very true, although this time around I have the wee little reminders of the other person inhabiting my body. I’ve noticed how I get out of breath much faster than usual this week, I guess because I’ve been doing more walking at speed to transit (as opposed to leisurely strolls to see the llamas where my mother lives).

On my mind? Maternity clothes still. I even went to a mall yesterday and tried on a bunch of stuff but came away undecided. I need to buy a couple of short-sleeved shirts that I can wear into the spring and wear now to work under a cardigan, but the stores don’t have a lot of spring stuff happening at the moment. And I almost think I could get away with teaching in a pair of dark skinny jeans with boots, but I could not find what I wanted- the skinny jeans were all REALLY skinny and if I wanted leggings I would buy leggings!

I’ve also started wasting huge amounts of time thinking about the car issue. Q. and I don’t own a car. We were starting to waver on this decision even before getting pregnant because with E. getting older he’s more fun to take places and if we had a car we’d do a better job of getting out of the city to do fun things (go to the zoo, go apple picking, etc.). Plus my sister who was in the U.S. is now permanently domiciled a little over an hour away. Getting pregnant basically was the last straw as the thought of grocery shopping in the winter with E. and an infant and no car is terrifying.

Basically I don’t think they make a car that does what Q. and I want. We don’t want a minivan or an SUV or a crossover. Q. wants all wheel drive. I wanted a hybrid, but I feel less set on this decision after talking to my sister about it- I don’t think it’s a deal breaker for me. Q. wants it to have a lot of get up and go because merging on the major highways in our area is really crazy and dangerous. I would really really love to get a wagon, because then we could take the cats with us (this is usually in a doomsday, flee the city scenario). Most of our driving would be in the city, so we don’t want a giant boat of a vehicle that is hard to park.

This week I’ve reached a major decision, in that there is NO POINT in buying a car unless we can fit two kids and their car seats in the back along with an adult occasionally. This wouldn’t be our day-to-day normal, but if we were going to visit my sister who is outside the city, I would want to have room to bring my sister who lives in the same city with us. And if MIL comes to visit (as she is planning to do this fall), we need space for her. I can’t see the point of buying a five seater car that really only seats four if two are in car seats.

If you know anything about cars or car seats, you know that this is probably going to be the hardest criteria to meet. I found a great website that is looking at how to fit three car seats into one back row. That’s not our issue, but he gives dimensions of current seats on the market, and, more importantly, he also gives the dimensions of the back rows of any given car model.

I have a couple of ideas for options (including changing up E.’s seat to the Harmony Defender, which is a forward-facing seat that converts to a booster that lets them stay harnessed to 65 lb while still being relatively narrow at 17″ across), but I can see this is going to be a big pain. It’s just non-negotiable for us though, so we will figure it out eventually, even if it means we spend a lot of time dragging car seats to dealerships and trying to install them.

Sleep? The baby is not always taking up residence on my bladder these days, so when s/he is elsewhere, I sleep really well. I am occasionally waking up too early in the morning, but I just go back to sleep. And I’m in a bad pattern of staying up later than I should be messing around on the internet (researching cars!) and then having trouble getting to sleep because I’ve been in front of a screen right up until bed time. Time to snap out of that one before the boys get home.

Best moment? Nothing pregnancy related really stands out this week. I enjoyed seeing almost my entire extended family on my father’s side for my Gramps’ 85th birthday party.

Other stuff? I have a midwife appointment coming up this week (on Wednesday). Hopefully my IPS results will be back, as I did the second round of blood work last Monday. I know it’s a moot point as far as the trisomies go because the Harmony NIPT was negative, but I’d like to get my risk factors for the neural tube defects, as if they’re good, I think I’ll be less twitchy about the anatomy scan.

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Filed under Me? Pregnant?!, Thyroid, Week-by-week

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