Milestone

How far along? Twelve weeks

How am I feeling physically? Generally fine. Still tired much of the time, still crampy if I have a big burst of activity, but the nausea is pretty much gone at this point. I am still out of breath walking up stairs or powering along the sidewalk, but I remember that from being pregnant with E.

The baby apparently thinks it likes gross processed cheese. Think Babybel and Laughing Cow. I have not bought Laughing Cow in probably more than fifteen years. I do not like it. But I was in No Frills the other day and the baby thought it would be a GREAT idea. So I bought it, and I ate a triangle, and then E. ate the rest of the container because as he told me, “I like Laughing Cow! I am just starting to grow my Laughing Cow stomach.” It tasted about as bad as I thought it would.

I bought another bag of kale salad, and the baby thought that was ok, but didn’t think it was the finest meal in all existence, which is how it felt about that EXACT salad last week. This one is so fickle. It at least still loves fruit. It also really really approves of pizza. The bloat around the belly has gone down somewhat and I’m still showing, but honestly I think it could be mistaken for a pizza belly if you didn’t know me well. I am looking forward to that point where it’s obvious.

The maternity clothes are still in the basement. I thought about getting them up and washing them this weekend but I might just wait until I’m alone in the house because my pants still fit and I don’t think maternity tops are going to look right at this stage. Someone on my new birth club posted that bum fat is good for your baby’s brain, so I posted that this baby is going to be a genius. I am definitely expanding towards the rear. Whatever. I’m up about four pounds more than I was with E. at this point (plus I weighed less when I got pregnant with E.) but I don’t really care about it anymore. At least, I don’t care about it enough to stop eating pizza.

I rolled over in bed last night and was in total agony for a moment, so the round ligament pains have started. Again, I find them reassuring. Nice to know I’ve progressed far enough that things really do need to start making room.

How am I feeling emotionally? About as good as you can get when you have a history of infertility and you’ve lost a pregnancy before and you have lots of friends who have had bad outcomes. I know that getting to this point is a huge milestone and I also know I’m more likely now to have a baby with a severe birth defect (3%) than lose this baby (1% late miscarriage or stillbirth). But whatever. I’m going to worry at least somewhat until the baby comes out healthy and alive and then I will start to worry about the baby as a person, because when you become a mother you worry, or at least that has been my experience.

I am more nervous about sending E. to Australia without me. I hadn’t been that nervous about telling him, but I think it’s because deep down I thought something would go wrong with the pregnancy and we’d have to tell him that the baby had died, but then I could go to Australia anyway. It was actually a bit of a shock on Thursday when I realized we’d have to break the news to him. And obviously I trust Q. completely and he is equally competent as a parent, but I am not thrilled about being separated by an ocean for a full month, even if it will be fun to have no responsibilities for a while.

How does it compare with E.’s pregnancy?

At twelve weeks last time I wrote:

Heaps of heavy cramping from Saturday onwards, to the point that I got a little worried. It was almost like period cramps. And then yesterday I started getting queasy, so I think my ute or the bub must have had a big growth spurt, and my hormone levels changed again.

Same this time around too. Huge amount of cramping, followed by bursts of queasiness. I am so glad I kept those entries with E’s pregnancy. It can be very reassuring to see how I’m following along, even if I’m stacking more weight on.

On my mind: Just making sure to keep track of my appointments. Nothing on next week, but then once Q. and E. leave, I have an appointment at the clinic, a dentist’s appointment (I am overdue for a cleaning, which is naughty of me because my gums hate being pregnant), and the first appointment with my midwife after leaving the clinic.

Also thinking about Christmas shopping for E., because if I am going to send anything small for him to unwrap while he’s away, I need to sort that out now. They leave on the 10th, which has kind of crept up on me. I need to print photos for the photo frame ornaments for his grandparents, and there wouldn’t be a rush on that either, except that my deadline is the 10th for at least one grandparent.

I also need to finalize my two syllabuses for next semester so the secretaries can photocopy them for me before the university shuts down for the holidays.

I booked my train ticket to meet up with my sister and brother-in-law on the 23rd (and will then drive with them the rest of the way to  my mother and stepfather’s house. Because, you know, I’m not going to Australia because this baby is still somehow not dead. I know I sound like a broken record, but that is seriously how I think.)

Sleep? Sleep is good. One of our cats is being annoying right now by wandering into our room in the wee small hours, jumping on the bed and then scratching. This is mostly annoying because we figured out almost a month ago that our cats had fleas. They are indoor only cats, so we never treat them for fleas. We’ve had them for eleven years and this is the first time it’s been an issue (and also the time we learned that indoor cats can still get fleas). Anyway, because fleas were just NOT on our radar it took us an embarrassingly long time to realize they had them, especially since one poor cat is allergic to the bites and kept getting these scabby bits on her neck (which I thought were evidence she and the other cat had had a fight), so by the time we got them to the vet and got them treated we had a not insignificant flea problem in the house. It is 95% sorted now, in that if the fleas bite the cats they die because we’ve treated the cats (and will continue to treat them for another two months) and I’ve been vacuuming the house every two days to try to encourage the fleas in cocoons to hatch out and bite the cats and die, and then combing the cats daily (now down to every second day) to catch any stragglers. No one visiting will get bitten or bring fleas home with them, and no more fleas are being produced (only have to worry about the ones that turned into cocoons before we realized we had a problem) but I was occasionally getting bitten if one jumped off the cat and ended up on our bed. So scratching cats at midnight are annoying. (Closing the door means she sits outside at midnight and yowls, so we’re kind of screwed either way.) Fingers crossed, though, I really really think we are well over the worst of it now.

Best Moment: A good nuchal scan. It doesn’t get better than that at twelve weeks. It was great watching Q.’s face, because the last time he saw the baby at the clinic was at the six week “There’s a blob with a heartbeat” scan. It still blows my mind it can grow that much in five weeks.

Other stuff: We’ve been sorting out when to tell people. I will have to tell extended family once Q. and E. go to Australia, but I think I will keep it off Facebook until at least the anatomy scan. And it will get out at work in the next couple of weeks because a work friend has a housewarming party that I will go to and Q. will miss (being in Australia) and then I will need to explain why I’m there.

Up next: Nothing for next week, except taking Q. and E. to the airport (gulp).

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Filed under Me? Pregnant?!, Week-by-week

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