What will not be

Microblog_MondaysNo one to sit with him in the backseat.

No one to make faces at across the kitchen table.

No one to open stockings with ridiculously early on Christmas morning before sneaking downstairs to see what Santa brought.

No one to share his history.

E. doesn’t know what he will be missing.

But I do.

This post is part of #MicroblogMondays. For the other participants, see here.



Filed under Grief, Lonely Onlies?, Loss, Microblog Mondays, Second Thoughts, Siblings

18 responses to “What will not be

  1. Jen

    So sorry you’re going through this. Wish there was something to say that would really help. Hugs

  2. Ugh I’m so sorry. Try not to think those things, E has a wonderful family and will know lots of love, laughter and happy memories.

  3. I’m so sorry. Sending virtual hugs across the ocean.

  4. J

    I am so sorry. I know it’s difficult to see the other side of things but truly, your little one will have a life filled with so much joy.

  5. I held onto this truth through everything: it was not what I wanted, but O is loved. We are a family. And we are all okay.

    I am so sorry you are suffering. May it ease for you soon.


  6. Poignant. I’m so sorry.

  7. Straight to the heart. I am so very sorry.

  8. Mel

    I have chills running down both arms. I had such a physical reaction to this post. Sending a hug.

  9. So sorry, friend 😦

  10. I love Karen’s response. There is wisdom in that, I think. And it’s okay if you and I waffle constantly between deep sadness over those things our boys likely won’t have and comfort in the knowledge that they are so very, very loved (and will be spoiled silly with unlimited time and resources, which does mean something). Dealing with this isn’t going to be linear. But I wish you all the peace that is possible, more comfort than pain, in the coming days. xo

  11. sending you hugs sugars! This road is sooo stinkin tough! xo

  12. Mali

    No one to fight.
    No one to feel hatred towards, followed by extreme guilt.
    No one to feel rejected by, or lesser than.
    Not all sibling relationships are perfect, with happy memories.

    Still, my niece is an only, and I know my sister feels the same as you. I’m sorry.

  13. I understand how you feel…felt the same way after my m/c this year. All I can say is I’m sorry. And don’t give up.

  14. This just took my breath away. Hugs to you.

  15. Here from the Friday Roundup. Succinct, simple, heartbreaking. Wishing you peace.

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