How far along? Nine weeks, although I think next week I’m going to switch to doing this post on Tuesdays, as the baby has been consistently measuring a day behind and my f/s on Thursday gave me the 9th of September as my official due date, rather than the 8th.
How am I feeling physically? I haven’t had very much nausea this week, which has been great. I think it’s been less of an issue than it was with E’s pregnancy (although I have noticed I’m having some trouble coping with dirty diapers). I’ve had a lot of cramping- a couple of days it was bad enough I tried to stay on the couch as much as possible. I think my blood pressure has dropped because I’m getting more head rushes when I stand up. Now that I’m completely off the prednisone, I’m really starting to notice the first trimester exhaustion. I don’t think this was much of an issue with E.- in fact I can remember thinking it was odd I wasn’t more tired- so I’m sure a lot of it is related to having a toddler underfoot and not being able to just spend a day on the couch doing nothing, which is what I did a lot of during my first pregnancy. I also think the hive incident with E’s pregnancy cushioned me from some of the exhaustion because it took that much longer to wean me off the prednisone.
On the food front, I ate a burrito on Friday, and a poutine today, and with both I thought, “Meh. That was good, but nothing special”. This is a huge improvement over previous weeks when these foods have been THE.BEST.FOOD.EVER., so hopefully the cravings are easing off and I can go back to a less ridiculous diet. I thought my digestion was fine, but things seem to have ground to a halt in the last few days, and last night it was bad enough that I was waking up in pain. So today brought an emergency trip to the grocery store for All Bran and prune juice and hopefully that will help get things back to normal. I can’t blame my pants, as I switched over to maternity pants on Friday. I don’t think I wore maternity pants until almost the halfway mark last time, so this is a big change. Partly it’s because my pants this time around actually fit me (last time they were all too big so I had a lot of room to grow), partly it’s because I’m showing much faster (I look as pregnant now at nine weeks as I did at eighteen with E., even if you take out the bloat and the Fragmin bruising), and partly I’m jumping the gun a little. I probably could still be wearing my jeans, and just wear maternity pants when I have to teach (as my work pants are uncomfortable now), but I just figured it was easiest to do the switch in one hit and pack the others away. This does mean I’m spending a fair bit of time pulling up my mat jeans, but they’re comfy, and I’m happy enough. The main issue now is whether my sweaters are baggy enough to get me to the twelve week mark without anyone figuring out what is going on. I’ve got quite the bump happening.
The other thing I’m noticing this time around that I didn’t last time is the rage. I get SO ANGRY so easily right now. The women on my birth club are all talking about it, and I gather it’s related to the surges in hormones in the first trimester, so hopefully there’s an end in sight. Maybe I was easily provoked into rage last time around too and I just don’t remember it, but I also think part of it is, again, having a toddler underfoot, as E. can make me pretty frustrated even at the best of times. I’m keeping my temper thus far, but there have been a whole lot more “If you don’t come in here right now and brush your teeth, we’re not going to have time to read any stories before bed” than I would like.
How am I feeling emotionally? I’m really in limbo now. We’re getting close to the point where we will feel comfortable telling people, but we’re not there yet. We told our parents on the weekend (that was a whole lot of Skyping in one day- E. even ended up telling me, “No more Skype! We’re all done! Who do we have to talk to now?”), which was great fun as they’re all excited, but nerve wracking at the same time as now I feel there’s more at stake if something goes wrong. I’m glad I don’t have to go into the clinic this week, but I’ll miss the reassurance that everything is proceeding as it ought to be.
How does it compare with E.’s pregnancy? Interestingly, I just looked up my post from last time around and I wrote that I was much less queasy than in previous weeks. That’s again proved to be exactly the same. I also was getting tired, especially in the evenings, so maybe the prednisone wasn’t sheltering me as much as I seem to have (mis)remembered. The big change between pregnancies is I don’t think my bbs are changing as much this time around. I read that this is pretty common- they don’t need to gear up and make all the changes since they’ve already done it once before. I have started wearing a sleep bra to bed at night, just to give them a bit of support.
On my mind: When I was at the clinic on Thursday my f/s told me that they offer the Harmony blood test, which is one of the new tests that can assess the risk that the fetus has a problem with the trisomies (as well as determine the gender). They can do it as early as 10 weeks and it’s meant to be more accurate than the combined screening (blood test and ultrasound) they do at the twelve week mark. It’s still not diagnostic- you need to do CVS or an amnio to be certain. It also costs $800. I’m leaning on Q. to call his insurance company to see if they’ll cover any of it, as I’d be happy to do it if we’re not going to be all that much out of pocket, but I can’t see the point of paying the full price. Q. thinks we should do the integrated screening and then if there’s a suggestion that all is not well, then do the blood test, but I’d like to see if any of it is covered before we make a decision.
My f/s also checked my thyroid. It came back at 4.8, which is higher than it should be, although not a huge concern yet. He wanted to put me up to .125 daily immediately. So on Friday I called my endocrinologist’s office. He is so busy it took me all day to get through- I finally got a secretary around 2:30 p.m. I told her the situation and said I just wanted to check that my endocrinologist didn’t have a problem with this change.
Here’s the thing. My endocrinologist is an asshole. He is a great doctor (in that I trust he is the best person to keep an eye on my thyroid in the long-term), but a terrible medical team member. He NEVER communicates with anyone else. He WILL NOT copy results to anyone else. He barely speaks to me at every appointment. I was completely expecting him to either a) just not get back to me at all or b) get back to me and have some insane idea why I shouldn’t change my thyroid dose. I couldn’t just change it and tell him the next time I saw him, as he’d fire me as a patient. He almost did this once before, right after E. was born, when my GP changed my dose because I’d strayed into hyper territory and couldn’t sleep and was having a constant anxiety attack. He was so angry when I turned up at my next appointment and told him I’d changed my dose three weeks before. I understand now that this meant the blood tests from that day wouldn’t be definitive, because you need six weeks to see how the dose has settled, but seriously, what was I supposed to do? Remain insane for another three weeks and wait to see him?
Anyway, I was completely gobsmacked when my phone rang just before 5 p.m. It was his secretary. He agreed with my f/s’ recommendation! We did have to change my next appointment with him to make sure it was six weeks away (I was supposed to see him three weeks from now), but I was just stunned to have him behave like a reasonable doctor.
Sleep? Still pretty good, although I’ve had a few nights this week where I’ve struggled to get back to sleep after waking up in the night. I fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow. Some days the exhaustion is so bad I want to fall asleep from about 2 p.m. onwards, and there have been a few nights where I’ve gone to bed well before Q.
Best moment: Telling the parents. I love giving good news to people I love. Q. was hoping we could get E. to tell them, but E. once again refused to be a trained seal and perform on command, which is fair enough. (E.’s also decided that the baby he’s growing is named “Sausage Sausage”).
Other stuff: I took a deep breath this week and splurged. I bought an M coat. It’s not going to be much use as a maternity jacket this winter, but I felt it was worth buying to have it for babywearing 2.0 next winter. And then I’ll have it as a coat for me afterwards. I’m still not sure I like it as a coat enough to want to keep it once I’m no longer using the panel for babywearing, but we’ll see. They are STUPIDLY expensive, but a store had a great sale on where the coat (including tax) was costing less than the used ones I’ve seen on kijiji, so I decided to take the plunge. If nothing else I’ll be able to sell it for what I paid (or maybe even a bit more). It was terrifying- I had to get my May 2011 birth club mamas to enable me to do it- because it was the first definitive thing I’ve done that tells the universe I’m confident this pregnancy is going to work out.
Up next: Quiet week this week- no appointments. I’m working on weaning off the Metformin and trying to get back into some sort of rhythm with the doctorate (which deserves its own post).