I’m not going to lie. I’m disappointed.
Yesterday they retrieved 25 eggs.
Of those 25, 12 were mature enough to be ICSI’ed.
Of those 12, 10 fertilized.
Obviously it is a great ratio of mature eggs to fertilized ones, but I am gutted that so many of my eggs were immature. I’ve felt all the way through this cycle that I was stimming too quickly- so much more quickly than the cycle that produced E. Now I wonder if I was right.
I don’t know if we’re going to be able to go to blastocyst with ten embryos. They’re going to call me tomorrow to tell me whether or not I should be on standby, but the final decision won’t be made by my f/s until Wednesday morning, so I could literally have only a couple of hours notice.
I want to go to blastocyst because that’s what worked with E., but at the same time, I am so worried that if we do go to blast, I’ll have the same terrible attrition rate that we did in 2010. If 17 embryos produced only 4 blasts, what if 10 only produce two? What if we have nothing to freeze and this becomes an ‘all or nothing’ transfer?
I’m not ready to have my hopes of making E. a big brother extinguished. I was counting on having something to freeze so we could revisit the whole issue next summer/fall if we had to.
I am holding on to my doctor’s assurances that they have massively improved their technology with regards to embryos and embryo survival between days three and five.
I am holding on to the hope that maybe the embryoscope will help support a couple more who might have struggled in the regular incubator, that our decision to use it might make a difference.
I know, I KNOW that it only takes one.
I just wish we were starting with a better hand.