This is the part I really don’t like.
After all the hustle and bustle of cycle monitoring, the day before retrieval is eerily quiet. No clinic visit. No injections. Our city is currently in the middle of its first serious snowfall, so outside is quiet too, except for a few muffled traffic sounds when the occasional car struggles up our street. When I look outside all I see is whirling snow.
In August 2010, I wrote this the day before the retrieval:
I feel like I’m in a roller coaster car that has slowly, painfully crept its way up that first high arc. Now I sit, poised on the edge, knowing it’s too late to back out, waiting for gravity and momentum to take over and drag me screaming through the whirlwind that is retrieval/transfer week.
Yep. Right there again.
The trigger shot went smoothly. We opted to go to bed beforehand and set three alarms, although we only needed the first one. There was one bad moment where I knocked over the vial with the powder and it almost rolled off my nighttable, but I caught it in time (the lid was still on but it could have broken). I think this is the first time I’ve mixed the HCG myself, but I guess I’m an expert now at such things. Q. woke up enough to jab me and then we both went back to sleep (until 5:55 a.m. when, for reasons known only to him, E. decided to wake up for the day).
Yesterday after I was finished at the clinic I went to the mall to try to finish my Christmas shopping. I felt too wretched to be able to work properly, and E. was at nursery school, so I seized the opportunity. It was a great opportunity to remind me why I do so much shopping online these days. Oh well. I managed to get most things ticked off my list- I just need a Christmas ornament for Q’s stocking and I’m sorted. I also made a significant detour to go to MEC to change over the boots I’d ordered online (one problem with online ordering- guessing at sizes), only to finally decide once I got to the store and tried on the other pair that the size I’d originally chosen was indeed the right one. While at the mall I ordered a poutine for lunch since I figured that was the saltiest thing I could think of, and I washed it down with a whole lot of Gatorade. I can’t wait to be able to get back to my usual diet.
Thursday I had a truly hilarious meeting with my PhD supervisor where he, in all seriousness, worked out a timeline where I could defend by late May. This timeline was dependent on my giving him a full draft by the 12th of February (doable), and on him reading said draft and returning it to me within two weeks of receiving it (not going to happen in a million years). Then he (finally) gave me the comments on two dissertation chapters I gave him in April. The irony of this escaped him. I made it clear that I was happy to entertain the idea of defending in late May provided we both agreed that the minute our timeline wasn’t being adhered to we would abandon that plan and opt instead for early September (it will be impossible to get my committee into a room in the summer- they all travel). He felt this was fair.
The only annoying thing with September instead of May is if I get a post-doc it will delay when I can start, but this is not a big deal in the grand scheme of things and is what I accepted could happen when I made the decision not to give him the draft in December.
Not much left to do today except eat salty food, drink Gatorade, and try to ignore my sore and bloated belly.
I can’t even think about a positive beta. One step at a time. First we need enough mature eggs to make enough embryos to get to blastocysts. I had a nightmare last night after the trigger shot that we had a ton of eggs retrieved but only ONE fertilized. Am obviously hoping for a much much better result tomorrow.