Groundhog Day

I’ve been on Lupron for six days now.

For eight days this has been the pattern:

  • The “breakthrough bleeding” stops overnight
  • Everything is normal for the morning
  • The bleeding starts up again after lunch
  • By the mid-late afternoon it’s heavy enough that I’ve got cramps and feel very uncomfortable
  • It slows down again by the late evening

Between roughly 1 and 9 p.m. every day, it’s basically AF by any other name.

I’ve never experienced this before. I’d be freaking out except Dr. Google tells me that breakthrough bleeding is a common side effect of the birth control pills (and this is a FAQ on the website of many a fertility clinic, so I trust my web research). It’s just weird, because it’s never happened to me.

And it sucks. I feel disgusting.

The only positive is provided it keeps doing this until Sunday I’ll be good to go into the clinic early next week, which should give us plenty of time to get the retrieval and transfer done before Christmas.

Seriously, I’m getting excited to start stims if it means this nonsense will stop.

E. was watching me do my Lupron the other day.

“Mummy is a little bit sick,” he commented.

And what do you say to that?

“I’m not sick, little love,” I told him. “This needle is to help keep Mummy healthy and strong.”

E. pulled up his shirt. “I want a needle in my tummy too. Just yike Mummy!”

So I put the cap on the needle, and gave him a pretend jab in the stomach, and distracted him when he wanted another shot “wif the cap off!”, and then I hid my sharps container in an even more inaccessible place than it had been previously.

I’m going to have to play this carefully. I don’t want to talk to him about getting my body ready to grow a baby because he’s never shown even the slightest interest in a sibling and I don’t want to plant that idea if this cycle doesn’t work. But at the same time I don’t want him wondering and processing and worrying in his own head about what this all means, especially when I start going in to see the doctor ALL the freakin’ time in a couple of weeks.

I had a dentist appointment today. My usual hygienist was away, so I saw one I haven’t seen in years. I haven’t seen her, in fact, since she got pregnant and went on maternity leave back in late 2010. I have a post on here somewhere where I mention that she read my list of medications once and commented that she was having trouble conceiving herself, and we got to chatting. She had a thyroid issue too and had had multiple miscarriages. Anyway, turns out she had a healthy baby boy six months before I had E., and has since had a second with no complications who just turned one. That was great news. It’s so nice to hear about someone who struggled so much for one child but was then able to have a second easily.

The other interesting piece of news was that the reason my hygienist was away today was she was undergoing an IVF transfer. She’s never said anything about this to me, but the other hygienist assumed it would have come up because of my past history, which is why she said something (and then felt awful when it was clear I hadn’t known). Interestingly, though, I’d suspected something was going on because I remembered my usual hygienist telling me once when E. was really little that she was hoping to have an announcement along those lines fairly soon. And then there was nothing. We talked about her nephew, who is a month older than E., and her house, and her dog, but no babies.

And I wondered. Of course I did. I think we become attuned to these sorts of things- the wishes unfulfilled, the timelines that don’t quite add up.

I can’t remember if I’ve ever said to her that E. was an IVF baby. I think she has asked me about a second before, and I gave my usual line of, “We were really lucky to get E. and we’re not sure things will work out a second time”.

Here’s hoping we both have good news to give each other when I go back in March.


Filed under 2.0 IVF, Anxiety Overload, E.- the third year, Medical issues, Second Thoughts

2 responses to “Groundhog Day

  1. Lol… I just watched the movie Groundhog Day this afternoon. I had to laugh a little when I saw the title of your post!

    Sending lots of love to you, and your hygienist! I sincerely hope you both do have good news to share soon!

  2. Pingback: This week | Res Cogitatae

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