12dp5dt- I am slowly going crazy…

In 2010, this was the date of my beta. I actually could have gone in from 10dp5dt, but Q. and I decided to wait the full twelve days to give ourselves the best possible shot. Given I POASed at 10dp5dt and got a clear BFN (thank you dollar store tests), it wasn’t difficult to wait those extra two days.

My clinic makes us wait a full fourteen days after transfer with a FET. I think this is because FETs can take a bit longer to get going, what with having been frozen and all. Fair enough. I doubt I’d be at my best immediately after having spent three years on ice.

Anyway, beta is Thursday. Which, in the grand scheme of things, is not all that far away now. But it feels like it is taking FOREVER.

It is made much worse by the fact that I am pretty much 100% convinced that I am pregnant. I’m still refusing to spend money on pee sticks (although I have been sorely tempted), so I still have nothing to confirm this gut feeling. It is all circumstantial evidence:

  • the cramping in the uterus has continued and ebbs and flows from day to day- this is familiar from the cycle that produced E.
  • my uterus/lower abdomen in general feels heavy and full- it’s not bloat, just a general sense that there is less space than there used to be- I don’t remember this in the early stages with my pregnancy with E., but I wouldn’t have been as sensitive to it.
  • I am dizzy all the time now- head rushes every time I stand up- this was the same in 2010. I’m also out of breath a lot, but that would be the progesterone.
  • I am incredibly sensitive to smell- I had a lot of trouble walking around the neighbourhood with E. on garbage day last week. On Saturday we bought a melon at our farmers’ market, and when I cut into it, Q. and I weren’t sure it was still ok to eat. Q. ate a small triangle and said to me that he thought it was off but wasn’t sure. I put a tiny piece in my mouth and had to spit it out immediately or I would have thrown up- the melon had clearly gone off, and my whole body rebelled at the thought of eating it.
  • Lastly, I am frequently nauseous, especially in the mid-to-late afternoon, and especially if I’ve let my stomach get empty. I certainly had the queasies with E. (although never any actual vomiting, for which I was eternally grateful), but they definitely had not started this early. Maybe one’s body starts to react faster the second time around because it’s done it before?

So. Either I’m pregnant and we’re getting good news on Thursday, or my body is engaged in the world’s biggest mindfuck.

Two more days.

1 Comment

Filed under 2.0 FET#1, Medical issues, Medications, Second Thoughts, Symptoms, TWW

One response to “12dp5dt- I am slowly going crazy…

  1. Clare

    Good luck hun. The feeling of fullness is what convinced me I was preg before I tested too. It’s my first pregnancy and after trying for so long I just knew that space was finally occupied.

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