Progress (finally)

We had a much, much better weekend with E. this week.

Fewer meltdowns.

Less hysteria about where I was (although there were definitely still moments, particularly when he freaked out when I went into the kitchen to get him food that HE HAD REQUESTED, where we just had to shake our heads).

And a new set of recurrent feedback loops.

E. still says (about a billion times per day) “Was a bit sad when Mummy left”, but now if we then say, “And then what happened?”, he says, “Mummy came back!” and the loop finishes on a much happier note. He talked endlessly about how he didn’t like it when Mummy went to the university, but if we asked him why I went to the university on Fridays, he would tell us that I had to teach my class. And he loved telling us that the weekend meant it was an “E. and Mummy and Daddy and E. day!”.

Yesterday he asked what day it was tomorrow and when I told him it was Monday, he thought for a minute and then. “Monday is a school day. Mummy does her duty day! Mummy stay all morning! Mummy go home at lunch time!” To which I then asked, “And what time does Mummy pick you up after lunch”, and he said, “Three-thirty” with a big grin. Then we talked about how he’ll be in the playground when I come to pick him up, and we’ll walk home together and have a snack and watch the streetcars.

This morning when he woke up, he knew it was a school day and we didn’t have forty to sixty minutes of hysterical crying as a result. He did once try to decide not to go, but he was relatively easy to cajole out the door. All the way to school we kept repeating that it was my duty day, that I would go home at lunch, and that I would be back at three-thirty. At school he was settled all morning- he stuck close to me, but he wasn’t worried about me leaving.

When it was lunchtime, I stayed in the cloakroom, and he headed off to wash his hands with his teacher.

“Do you want to give me a kiss goodbye?” I asked him.

E. turned and looked at me. His lower lip wobbled. “No,” he managed, and then he turned and walked through the door WITHOUT CRYING.

I was so proud of him.

Far out. We are getting there.



Filed under (Pre)School Days, Anxiety Overload, E.- the third year, Emotions

2 responses to “Progress (finally)

  1. Excellent! If you have access to the show Daniel Tiger, you might check out the “grown-ups come back” episode. (It’s on Netflix. It’s a PBS show, so perhaps available other ways.) each episode has a simple lesson that the characters sing as just a line or two; just humming the tune in question reminds the Bean of things, and he is excited because he gets to be the one to say the words. So I hum the relevant tune, and he says, “when you have to use the potty, stop and use it right away!” This is more exciting and seems maybe also more effective than my saying the same idea, because he is the one saying it. If that makes sense. It’s also just a good show.

  2. That’s great news! Pretty soon, he’ll just walk away without a second look. And that’s a double edge sword- good for him, but bittersweet for mommy.

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