It’s been a rough week chez Turia. E. and I went to a farewell party for one of our May baby friends (moving back to the UK- I’m very sad about this) on Tuesday, and I guess I ate something there that wasn’t dairy/soy free (probably the crackers). And then on Friday I was out getting a follow-up ultrasound done on the breast lump, and it ran over time, and my blood sugar crashed, and I ate something that I thought was ok, but clearly wasn’t. And after some internet research Q. and I discovered that our bread crumbs have ‘milk products’ listed in the ingredients. I ate those three times in the last two weeks. GAH.
E., who is normally a twice a day sort of munchkin, didn’t dirty a diaper for 48 hours before Sunday morning. He was up four times on Friday night, five times on Saturday. Most wakings he didn’t want to feed- just wanted to be held upright while he wriggled and squirmed and tried to get the gas out of his belly, while wanting so much to be asleep (thumb in mouth and all). From 5:30 onwards I was in the rocking chair with him. There was mucous in the stool, but what really upset me was seeing blood in there again. Because, as I now know from my internet research, blood in the stool means my baby’s GI tract is so upset and damaged that it is raw/ulcerated/containing sores. I cried when I read that. I felt like the worst Mum on the planet.
The thing is, other than the poo issues (which are clearly large issues), E. doesn’t act like the ‘typical’ MSPI baby. There’s no hours upon hours of endless screaming. There’s no screaming at all, really. At the most he grizzles and fusses and seems just not quite himself when his tummy is bugging him (Q. calls him ‘brittle’). He has no problem lying down, back or tummy. He doesn’t have any facial rashes. He isn’t congested or wheezy. In a lot of ways, he seems to be more tolerant of the proteins than many babies.
BUT. I am not ok with having a baby whose GI tract is bleeding. I am going to FIX this.
I am not going to stop breastfeeding. I am going to take whatever is required out of my diet.
We had this- there was a point where he wasn’t gassy and his dirty diapers looked ‘normal’ (or what I now think is probably normal, and I suspect he has had very few of those in his lifetime). It is possible.
I just have to be more careful.
I need to read more labels.
I need to stop eating anything at a potluck (other than fruits and vegetables) unless I brought it. And I need to bring to potlucks something that I know is safe to eat that is a filling source of protein.
I need to stop eating out. If I go out of the house, I need to be prepared in case I get hungry.
I need to stop eating anything processed unless I have vetted the ingredients beforehand.
I need to stop eating bread, even from our nice bakeries, unless I can check the ingredients. We have a bread machine that makes good bread. I need to be more proactive about using it.
I now have a document that lists over one hundred words that will indicate when something contains hidden dairy or soy. There’s one in my wallet, one on the fridge, and one in Q’s backpack.
It’s going to take four weeks- two to get the last vestiges of dairy out of my system, and then two more to get them out of E’s. But we’ll get there. I think we probably won’t even consider solids again until those four weeks are up, unless I see some pretty drastic improvements in his diapers.
And in the meantime I’m going to try not to be horribly jealous of Q., who baked two enormous fruitcakes over the weekend and will now get to gleefully eat them all by himself.