Dear darling E.,
It is not possible that another month has gone by. The time goes so quickly, and you change a little bit every day. Now when we see tiny babies out in the streets I marvel at how little they are, and how funny their squeaking and grunting sounds. It’s so very clear that you are most definitely not a newborn anymore. And when I see true newborns I understand why so many people commented on how you didn’t look like a newborn, even from birth. They look so confused and unformed, whereas you were alert right from the first day.
You’ve started making so many different noises now. Last month you had just started squealing, and you had one coo sound (an “ah-woo!” noise), but in the last couple of weeks you’ve just exploded. One night this week you even came out with a noise that sounded exactly like a rooster crowing- it had your Daddy and I in stitches.
You, my son, started smiling right around the first month marker, and those smiles make your Mummy’s heart melt, every.single.time. You still seem to see us best if you’re lying down on our laps, or on the couch next to us, and if we catch your eye you give us this enormous gummy grin. You’re generally a cheerful baby, especially when you first wake up in the morning, and you’ll coo and babble at us as we change your diaper and get you ready for the day.
You’ve started to become a bit more independent. Now you will sit in your bouncy seat for ten minutes or so at a time, and you’re usually happy to be in there a couple of times a day. Generally I can get enough time to make and eat breakfast and lunch, and your Daddy and I can usually get most of the way through dinner before you decide you’ve had enough (you’ll note that you are still joining us for dinner every night…that 7.30 bedtime proved to be remarkably short lived). You’re still napping in carriers almost exclusively, so your Mummy spends a lot of her day out for walks or pacing around the house while reading (she proof read your Daddy’s entire 300+ pages manuscript while doing this). You love to go to sleep on public transit- buses, streetcars, subways- you’re not fussy about your type of motion. This week you were awake on the subway (a rare occurrence) when we went from travelling outside to being in a tunnel. The look on your face as the trees disappeared outside the window was priceless.
I love seeing how much more aware you are of the world around you. We were in the nursing lounge at the mall one day, which had textured yellow wallpaper, and I thought your mind was going to explode, you were so excited by it. You could barely concentrate on nursing (which is most unusual for you!).
You continue to grow and thrive. At six weeks you weighed 11 lb, 8 oz, and at your eight week appointment you were 12 lb, 11 oz, so you’re still gaining about 3 oz every 2 days. You’re 61 cm long now (you were 52 at birth), and your head’s circumference has gone from 36 cm to 40. You’re in the 75th percentile for weight, and the 90th for height. You’re starting to sleep longer stretches at night. Most nights we get you down by about 9.30, and you sleep through until 3 or even later if we’re lucky. One night you slept until 4:20, and both Mummy and Daddy woke up before 4 in a total panic. I think you’re starting to recognize that 5 am is not a good time to start the day, but we’re clearly not in a morning routine yet. We’ll see how the next month goes.
You’ve got much more head control now, and you’re getting so strong when you push against us with your legs, or flail around with your arms. It’s still a struggle to get you through the evening without you ending up wildly overtired and overstimulated, but you rarely cry. And if you do, there is always something wrong- you never cry just for the sake of it. You suck on your fist a lot, but not your thumb yet. I wonder if that’s because when you make your fists you always have your thumbs curled up under your fingers…just like your Mummy does. You notice toys but aren’t very interested in them yet. Tummy time is still used by baby torturers, I’m afraid, and you aren’t very keen on your stroller at the moment either.
You are growing more lovely every single day. And that’s not just your biased Mummy- one of the mums of your May baby friends commented on that the last time we got together. I love watching you sleep in the Moby wrap, or late at night when we cuddle before you go back into your crib. When you are truly ‘conked’ you sleep with your mouth hanging wide open, and you make this little shiver noise with your breath that tells me you’re making the transition into deep sleep. You have these enormous blue eyes and a funny little worried old man expression that wrinkles up your forehead.
Your Daddy is just as taken with you as I am. You spend your first cycle of every morning with him. He puts you in the Snugli and takes you outside to greet the day and the herb garden. Sometimes you go for a walk around the block to make sure you fall asleep. Then Daddy reads while you snooze and Mummy gets a chance to have a shower and check her email. For some reason you sleep better on Daddy- he doesn’t have to pace around the same way Mummy does. I think it’s because Daddy doesn’t have the temptation of boobies.
In the evenings Daddy will run through your entertainment options. When doing this he always really exaggerates his accent to get a true Aussie drawl, as he tells you, “Well, E., we’ve got all sorts of options for tonight. For example, you could have a snooze. To do this, it’s very simple. All you’ve got to do is close your eyes. Or, you could have a kip. That’s easy too. You’ve just got to close your eyes. Or, if you wanted, you could catch some shuteye. We’re like a socialist republic here- you’ve got all kinds of choice available as long as you close your eyes.” You will smile and coo and gurgle and wave your arms and legs at him…but you rarely close your eyes!
Your aunt comes over every week to keep your Mummy company, and to dote on you. You have completely captured her heart, and it makes your Mummy so happy to see her sister and her son grinning and cooing at each other. Having your aunt around makes it possible to do things like go to the mall to find a dress for a wedding, or make a trek out to a baby store to look for a nursing cover and a sling. You are a very portable baby. You usually sleep through all the travelling, and as long as you get fed on a regular basis, you’re not bothered by being in lots of new places. You’ve gone for a walk along the harbourfront this week, and you went to the islands (and had your first ferry ride!) a couple of weeks ago. Every time I get worried about doing something with you, you turn out to be the perfect baby. You truly are a laidback little man.
I continue to be overwhelmed by the strength of my feelings for you. My mama bear instincts are almost frightening in their intensity. On the ferry ride it turns out that both your Daddy and I spent the first few minutes independently working out our escape plans should something go wrong. And this week your Mummy left you with your Daddy while I went to get my haircut. I spent the entire time fighting an urge to leap out of the chair and RUN home to you, even though I knew that you were safe and happy with your Daddy (which you were- I arrived home to discover you’d been playing with your Daddy and were happily sucking on his finger awaiting dinner).
You are simply gorgeous, inside and out, my son. I can’t wait to watch your personality emerge even more in the months to come, even as I wish I could somehow freeze you in this moment, when you still fit on my chest for a nap, your arms spread wide around me like a hug. I love to watch you while you nurse, and your little hand reaches up to gently stroke my skin. I love the way your entire body relaxes when someone hands you to me, and the way you’ll flash a huge grin when I least expect it. I love your long eyelashes, and your elegant fingers, and your perfect little ears (which look just like mine). I love the look of surprise you get when Daddy and I blow raspberries on your tummy when we change your diaper. I love the funny whorl of hair at the crown of your head.
I will love you forever, my son.