Second beta was this morning. I begged the head nurse to call as soon as possible because Q. is going away this afternoon for a week and I knew he really wanted to know what our status was. She called me less than two hours after I’d been at the clinic- that is unheard of. I really appreciated it.
Second beta was 612!!! So that is way above doubling. When I told her what the first beta was, she said, “Wow, you’ve been busy! That’s a great rise.”
So I’ll be in again on Wednesday for another beta. Actually, I’ll be in every day this week as I need the nurses to do the PIO shots. I know lots of you (brave) ladies have done them yourselves, but I really can’t bring myself to do it. I’m getting bruised and sore and I know I’d chicken out. So I’d rather waste some time.
I know we still have a really long way to go, and I doubt I’ll actually relax until we have a real, live, healthy baby in our arms. I know too much about what happens to be able to emulate a couple of my relatives who both announced their (by accident) pregnancies to the entire extended family as soon as they saw the positive test. One of them has a perfectly healthy one-year-old girl now, and the other is due in December and all seems well. Of course. But that blissful ignorance, that can’t be me.
At the same time, I keep reminding myself that it has taken us 35 months to get to this point, and this is the best we’ve ever managed, so I should damn well celebrate that right now, right here, we are pregnant with doubling betas.
I think this means I’m going to vacillate wildly between joy and anxiety for weeks and weeks. Lucky Q.
Q. has been so funny over the last 48 hours. Here is the highlight reel of his comments:
Right after we got the news that the test was positive: “Well, I’m not sure I’m ready to be a father. I think I need to buy a sports car and drive across the country to find myself.”
A few minutes later: “What do you think the f/s would say if we rang him up and told him that we’ve changed our minds and we’re not ready but since this is obviously a good one we’d like to take it out and freeze it for next time?”
Later that day: “I should help incubate the egg. That’s what penguins do. Can we arrange that?”
That evening: “Well now I have an iron clad excuse to avoid conferences for the next 18 years.”
Also that evening: “So should I read “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” now so that I’ll know the odds of the baby exploding out of your chest like in Alien?”
On a more serious note, he has been very sweet. Very concerned with what I should be eating (he worried the eggs he cooked this morning were too runny, even though I can’t stand over hard fried eggs). He wants to read a couple of pregnancy books to make sure he understands what is going on (as I think a lot of the infertility stuff has been a bit of a blur to him- he is always asking which medication is for what). He went down to the basement to check out the room that will become his study once he’s evicted from what will be the nursery and started planning what he’ll do to make it habitable(which also led to another vintage Q. comment: “It’ll be like a man-cave! For a really manly bookworm!”). He now really doesn’t want to go away.
He’s cautiously excited. So am I. It’s a nice place to be.
So I’m trying to figure out how I should calculate how many weeks I am, and when my due date would be. August 3rd was Day 1 of my cycle, but August 4th became Day 1 of my IVF cycle. But then I stimmed for longer than expected- the retrieval was the 18th of August. I guess I should count that as ovulation, and then go back 14 days to the 4th and call that Day 1, since the calculations always assume a perfect 28 day cycle (which is hilarious if you are me and you don’t have a cycle).
This makes my due date May 11th. And I am currently 4w5d? Yes?
Is it completely ridiculous to want desperately to waste money on a pregnancy test that is NOT from the stupid dollar store just to see two lines? Q. has no idea why I want to do this so badly since we’re getting accurate counts from the betas every 48 hours. And I studiously avoided tests pretty much all through this entire process- I used one with our first IUI, and used one the day before the beta with the first IVF, and then I had my flirtation with the dollar store tests this time round.
But I think I want to see two lines. Even though I know I’m pregnant, I want a piece of plastic to confirm it.
Is this like food cravings?
Thank you for all the comments and good wishes! It was like a giant hug to read them this morning. It is so nice to know that so many people out there in the world are wishing and hoping along with Q. and me.