A typical morning.
Me: Gosh, here I am typing/reading/whatever after breakfast and I don’t think I feel cramping anymore. I don’t think my bbs are sore anymore, either. Maybe I’ll just sit quietly for a while and pay attention to my body.
Brain: Crap. Crap! She’s sitting quietly and paying attention again.
Uterus and BBs: Again?! How annoying.
Brain: Well, we’ve got to do something about it. We can’t have her sitting quietly, paying attention to her body for the whole day. We’ve got things to do! What have you got for us, uterus?
Uterus: I suppose I could try to rustle up some cramping. I wasn’t planning on any today though. It’s a bit of pain.
Brain: Nope, cramping is good. BBs? What about you?
BBs: I suppose we could hurt for a while. And then we could do that thing where when she takes her shower we look super dark, but it turns out to just be the lighting in the bathroom when she gets out and looks in the mirror.
Brain: Excellent, excellent! That’s a classic.
Stomach (chiming in): I could aim for some nausea.
Brain: Yes! Nausea is always a good one. And I’ll see if we can’t manage more dizziness and head rushes- she knows they’re from the drugs as she’s had them since the retrieval, but she still notices when they happen. Let’s put this plan into action, team!
Uterus: cramp cramp cramp
BBs: twinge, ache, pinch
Me: I hate you all.