This morning I was sitting on the couch we have in our kitchen, drinking my tea and watching Q. cook his breakfast, wondering why I felt so relaxed. Then I realized that for the last five days I’ve been at the clinic at that time, submitting to needles in my arms and my butt, and a very uncomfortable ultrasound probe.
It’s funny, because the twws were HARD after the FETs. I think it’s because the lead up to the FET is so easy, and then I was struggling with all the medications. This time around, I am so excited to get to transfer so I can just have two weeks without having to see the inside of the clinic.
We stayed up last night watching Harry Potter 5 until it was time to trigger. I remember the trigger for the first IVF was so nerve-wracking for both of us. We worried that we would sleep through our alarms (we set three). It was the first time Q. had given me an injection. This time it was just routine- no big deal at all. I was still nervous, but not about the needle. I worry a lot at this stage that something will go wrong- with the timings, with my meds. I want to have at least as many eggs as we did last time (14), but if I am being honest, I would like a few more. I hope ICSIing all of them means we get enough embryos to go to blast. I hope enough make it to blast to give us some FETs after the fresh transfer. I hope something works this time.
Yesterday I cooked up a big mess of fries and then salted them to within an inch of their life. Then after I polished them off and felt unbelievably thirsty, I drank my Gato.rade. I mocked myself the entire time.
And yet today is the least bloated I have been in a week. Coincidence? Who knows, but I’ve put fries on the menu for lunch today as well!
I feel like I’m in a roller coaster car that has slowly, painfully crept its way up that first high arc. Now I sit, poised on the edge, knowing it’s too late to back out, waiting for gravity and momentum to take over and drag me screaming through the whirlwind that is retrieval/transfer week.
Less than 24 hours to go now. I’ll be sure to post tomorrow with the results.