FET #2- Transfer Day

Well, maybe I should predict the weather, or organize train timetables or something. We turned up, as requested, at 11.45 am. Our two embryos were placed into my uterus at 1.30 pm. But since I had indeed brought a book (and we even bought lunch at Tims beforehand and packed it in), and I didn’t drink any more water after I finished my litre, it wasn’t too bad. I’m definitely in the groove now- the nurses all remember me and happily leave me to do things myself. They know that I know how it all works.

Our two embryos looked fantastic again. These two were the one natural fertilizer, and the last one from the ICSI. The ICSI one was a super high grade as I recall from the chart, and you could really tell. My f/s and the head nurse took pains to point out just how awesome it looked, even discussing with the embryologist what they could see on the big screen. And I don’t think they’re shitting me. I’m sure they muscle up enthusiasm and hope for every patient. But I’ve read the reports- I’ve seen the pictures. I know we make good embryos.

So I’ve come home to rest and relax, when I’m not popping pills or jabbing myself. They actually got me to do a Fr.agmin right there in the clinic before we went home. The nurse spent a lot of time preparing me for the bruising I can expect with the double dose of Fr.agmin and the baby aspirin. I’m resigned to it- I have always bruised easily. And now, yep, I’m basically a pin cushion.

I didn’t want to give the impression in my last post that I don’t have any hope for this cycle, because that would be a bold-faced lie. I have heaps of hope- loads of hope- dangerous amounts of hope. I know my thyroid is balanced. I know that I am dosed up to the eyeballs on every possible medication that could help (the head nurse looked at my instructions and said, “Well, you’ve got everything in the book here!”). Our embryos are great. My lining was great. I have absolutely NOTHING scheduled for the next two weeks as semester is winding down and I can miss the last couple of days of classes. I can just stay at home and mark student essays and read books for my comp lists, and relax. I am in a great place with school right now, so there is no stress hanging over my head there. I’m physically fit, but I haven’t been exercising much. I’ve made sure I haven’t lost any weight.

In short, I’ve done everything I can.

What I don’t think I have any more, and I used to, is expectation. I no longer expect to get pregnant. I no longer expect things to work. I have hope, yes, but if it doesn’t work out, I think I’ll be resigned rather than surprised.

C’mon snowbabies. Please like your environment enough to want to stay.

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5 Comments

Filed under FET, ttc, TWW

5 responses to “FET #2- Transfer Day

  1. Glad everything went so smoothly :). And that you have everything arranged so you can relax for the next couple weeks.
    Stick little frosties, stick!

  2. I’m so rooting for those snowbabies!

  3. Sending lots of hope and faith and prayers your way! Stick little snowbabies!

    As for your last post… I haven’t even started the “real” ttc with help route, so I can’t say I know how you feel, but I can imagine. The endless waiting never knowing feelings get so overwhelming!

    So what are the essays about you’ll be reading/grading?

  4. T, thanks for your comment on my post. I wasn’t sure if it would be controversial at all…but I’d been seeing a lot of newly pregnant (post-IF) bloggers making apologies for their complaints about pregnancy and it got me thinking about how we need to give ourselves permission to be honest. That going through IF doesn’t mean you can’t then complain when you feel really, really crappy or panicked about something pregnancy-related. The idea of that seems so unfair! You still need tons of support when you get pregnant, especially in the beginning when it all feels so fragile.

    Luckily for you, when you get pregnant (hopefully this cycle) you will have people like me to hold your hand and listen to every last complaint along the way! 🙂

    You asked how I’m doing…I am hanging in there. Am 33 weeks today, so (hopefully) 7 more to go on the couch. I am much better now that there’s some distance since the bleeding incident happened. For me, the anxiety was the worst part of it. I’m pretty bored and stir crazy but there are worse things!

    Anyway, I’m thinking of you and hope the wait is going by quickly. Can’t wait to hear your news!

    -Egg

  5. Nity

    T – I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately. Sorry I haven’t been commenting. I did stop reading for awhile, but checked in when I saw this FET. I’m praying that things will work this time for you.
    xoxo

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