Drug habits (IUI Cycle #4, Day 8)

I shoot up at breakfast now. Seriously. This morning I was reading the paper online over Q’s shoulder, eating my muesli, and plunging a needle into my belly. Without pausing, or even really thinking about it. So casual that even Q. had to mention it (mostly I think because he didn’t really like the fact that I was shooting up while he ate his breakfast- see? it didn’t even occur to me that it might bug him).

Weird.

Into the clinic this morning. Had the usual “So how many kids do you want?” discussion with my fs. He thinks he’s hilarious. My PCOS ovaries are still doing their thing. I think they’re a bit slower to respond than last cycle- it looked like most of the eggies were floating around 9…but there were a lot of them.

I go back in on Friday, and hopefully will discover that two or three have grown loads, and the others have decided to sit this one out. Probably looking at IUIs early next week I’d guess. It’s hard to tell sometimes. I think last cycle they grew really quickly in a couple of days.

I threw my first baby shower on the weekend. It was a welcome baby shower, as she arrived back in November, but this was the best time for her mum and for me. The shower itself was fine. I completely hoarded baby cuddle time- I didn’t want to give her up to anyone else. Then we all went back to my friend’s place to hang out with les boys (who were playing hockey during the shower including dear, sweet Q. who can barely skate).

And about partway through the night I realized that the smart, funny, newly married woman I’d met earlier that afternoon, and had held onto as my proof that not everyone was in the middle of procreating, was 12 weeks pregnant. Which meant that every female in that room was either pregnant or had their children with them. Except for me of course.

So then I went and sat in the bathroom and cried for a while. And then I washed my face and got on with it.

But sometimes? Sometimes it is so tiring.

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4 Comments

Filed under Emotions, Friends, Medical issues, ttc

4 responses to “Drug habits (IUI Cycle #4, Day 8)

  1. Mel

    It is so tiring sometimes. I still roll my eyes when friends call to announce “we got pregnant the first month! isn’t that crazy?”
    Yes, yes it is crazy. Crazy to me that you didn’t have to go ridiculously in to debt just to have a child. Crazy that you’ve never haven to self inject medication in to your own to help your AWOL ovaries and rogue uterus. Crazy that you can laugh about how easy it was to get knocked up after you made the decision to have a baby with your husband.

    Hang in there, girl. I will cross my fingers for some good follicle growth this week.
    *hugs*

  2. I’m hoping for some awesome follicles so you never have to be that person in the room again. I’m dreading baby showers, and I’ve got two of them in the next two weeks. I’m hoping I can have half as much grace as you do.
    ~~HUGS~~

  3. I’m with you — I’m exhausted. Hope we are both in for some true (non-sleeping baby induced) exhaustion very soon, beginning with you and your growing follicles!

  4. Springroll

    Turia – one of my resolutions this year is to stop going to baby showers. I know, I know – sounds bitter, doesn’t it? But I figured I would spare myself the pain. I highly recommend it!
    I am keeping all fingers and toes crossed for you to have three strong, healthy eggs come IUI day!! Keep believing, my friend…
    -SR

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