Irrational, illogical

Yesterday my ovaries hurt. A lot. All day, both sides. I kept noticing them, couldn’t ignore the persistent ache.

And then my temperature took a big jump this morning. And I got excited. I went to the clinic wondering what the ultrasound might show. Yesterday was our anniversary. An anniversary baby. Wouldn’t that be wonderful.

I told the tech about my pains and the temp jump as I settled in. “Let’s see what’s happened,” she said. We exchanged smiles.

Then silence, except for the beeping as she took photo after photo of my utterly, entirely, completely unchanged ovaries and the follicles stagnant at 11, 10, 9.

She told me before I saw my doctor, so I had time to berate myself. Clomid makes your temperature go up- I knew that, but I didn’t want to see it. I felt so foolish for getting my hopes up, and Q’s.

My fs in a last-ditch effort has given me another two days at 150mg. So it’s back in on Friday, and then if that doesn’t work, it’s injectibles. She doesn’t want to attempt another cycle starting with a higher dose of Clomid- it clearly isn’t doing anything for me.

I’m really gutted by this.

And my stupid ovaries still hurt.

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4 Comments

Filed under Emotions, ttc

4 responses to “Irrational, illogical

  1. I’m so sorry!!

    I’m beginning to think temperature charts are too misleading. Or maybe they just don’t work for me. Mine never seem to do what they’re supposed to — i.e. it dove down like I was going to ovulate on Day 13, but when I actually ovulated on Day 18, there was no huge temp dip and rise. Strange. I did find clomid spiked my temps too.

    Sorry about the pain! It seems all my cramping, aches and pains have been much worse this cycle. I’m blaming it on the clomid. And I was only at 50 mg. I can’t imagine 150!!

    Hoping for Friday for you!!
    *BIG HUG*

  2. C G

    I totally understand what you are going through. Even I keep having wierd cramps and keep hoping that its a good sign but so far nothing. I guess we both are almost in the same state this cycle and moving to injectibles next one. Good luck for Friday.

  3. RM

    So sorry, T. Still just hoping the shots won’t be as bad as you think, and as an added benefit, you’ll get pregnant. 🙂

  4. Mel

    I am so sorry, I know that sucks. =(
    I hope this defeating and frustrating cycle is history soon and you can move on to the next. You will be fine with injectibles, I promise. If I can do it, anyone can.
    *hugs*

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