I think the interview went well today. They were asking a lot of the same questions that they had in the original survey, but I made sure to expand on most of my answers (i.e. I talked a hell of a lot for a very long time). It just felt really good to be doing something proactive, something that might lead to better conditions for us IFers in the future. Something that maybe, just maybe, other provinces might be able to take a lead from.
The interviewer was very sympathetic- I guess she’s been hearing these stories for a couple of weeks now. I asked her how many men she’s interviewed- some, as it turns out, but not many (is anyone surprised?). When I asked Q. last night whether there was something he’d like me to say on his behalf at the interview, he thought for ages and then commented on how busy the clinic is, and how it would be good if there were more clinics so they weren’t all stretched to capacity.
Conversations like that really drive home how, even though Q. and I are going through this together, we have completely different experiences of IF. It doesn’t take over every conscious moment of Q’s life. He seems remarkably resilient to our ever-increasing number of failed cycles. He’d like IVF to be covered, and he’d like to get out of the clinic in less than two hours, but he really doesn’t have much to say about the emotional impact of infertility.
Sometimes it’s really nice to know that at least one of us is managing to hold on to some semblance of our old normal. Although that must be a challenge when I hit days 3-5 of the cycle and cry at anything and everything, and he’s left to pick up the pieces.
I feel better having done the interview. I often get a chance to vent, but rarely do I feel like venting might actually accomplish something.
Fingers crossed this time it did.
Nice job! I’m sure you did accomplish something, but most importantly you tried and have done something to be proud of.
And I know what you mean about Q… K was/is just the same way. He can exist mentally in a place where dark thoughts don’t drag him away every so often. It is hard for me to imagine that, but I must admit to being envious of it.
I am so proud of you for speaking out – any policy changes or legislation can only benefit the other provinces. Your input could potentially have an impact on thousands of couples hoping for a family to call their own!
And by the way, I know what you mean about Q. Whenever I throw myself the “one woman pity parties”, I get a little bit bitter that this doesn’t seem to be hitting DH quite as hard…
I am keeping fingers crossed for positive results on your IUI – can’t wait to hear the great news!!
Yeah!! Good job.
I think you’re right, guys don’t understand the emotional aspect of IF.
~~HUGS~~